"Sometimes we get lost in our own minds. Sometimes we succumb to the darker of our thoughts. sometimes we think that enough alone time will help us. Sometimes we think that our hobbies will be our escape. Sometimes this isn't enough. Sometimes we need our friends."
The above statement is something that I posted on a social networking site just hours earlier. I had no idea what kind of response I would be getting back from this. I was really glad when it was a positive one though. I had one friend who did an oracle reading for me and this is what I was told:
you are bringing forth new and dynamic energy into the world
energy that has never been here before
its calling you to live our your highest dreams
since i know you... i think it means more writing... more sharing of yourself
there are many more like u out there... and u can uplift them with your story
This I think meant more to me than the friend doing the reading even knew. I was starting to think that doing this blog was completely pointless. I know I have family out there that reads it but I really wanted it to have a bigger meaning than my family and some friends knowing what I was going through because that happens through daily conversation. I am not sure exactly what I want out of it but something bigger than it being an online diary would be great.
The same friend who did this reading for me also set me up with some great music to get these creative juices flowing. And boy did I need the help. I spent two hours staring at this blank screen knowing what I wanted to write about but not only was there a creative block I was also not feeling motivated. But then I heard this one track which was so earthy and heartfelt I could feel every note touch every fiber of my being and beyond. Its crazy insane to me how much music can be versatile in its own being. It can be used for so many different things. And once it gets inside your head not only does it help with the creative but also the organizational side as well. This track immediately started flowing through my fingers into the keys of this laptop. From here I will go to my creative and less informative writing.
Anyway the point of today's blog was pretty much just wanting to touch up on the fact that even when your mind takes you to dark places and you don't think you can escape there are people places and things that can help you to do so. I feel so blessed to have discovered this. To know that I don't have to be alone in anything that overwhelms me.
I can feel myself slowly propelling forward which is fantastic. I have somewhere steady to live right now, food in my stomach, friends who truly care for my well being and vice versa, I am filling out at least 10 job apps a day and I know I will soon be hearing back from someone so that I may start to get on my feet again. I know that I must focus on me and only me at this time to accomplish my short term goals. And for those of you who know me I have even cut most of the partying out of my life to do so. And yall know me so that means alot more free time and sober time to focus on what I need to.
Another day another post. Another to come soon my readers. please feel free to post your comments on my blog itself would be much appreciated. Thank you so much for anyone and everyone who passes by this blog and gives it a brief moment.
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