So this is not gonna be a very positive post, just to warn any who reads this. Today's second blog is gonna be about the current living conditions as well as some personal stuff. Sometimes it is so hard to stay positive. I try so hard to make light of every situation but sometimes that's not enough. I believe that every decision and step we take in life's journey is for a reason, whether it be to teach us a lesson or just to steer us in the direction of our final end point. Something that can make us so incredibly happy or something so heartbreaking happens for a reason and sometimes right off the bat its hard to see that. One gets wrapped up in the present moment and/or emotions and it can make the simplest tasks so daunting and difficult.
I do have to say that I am so happy with the current family I have with my coworkers. Even though my emotions are completely down trodden, they know how to bring a smile to my face and even make me laugh and that certainly helps me get through my day. I keep going back to the same thoughts though, like why is this the second time my heart has been broken in two months. I'm not sure why this is happening all I know is that it is for a reason. I suppose that I should know better than to get involved with people before I have my life set up as well as making sure others can fully invest themselves in the situation. With everything that has happened it just makes me want to put my guard up again like I did for three years after ending the relationship I had with my ex-fiance. I seemed alot better off and much more stable at that point in my life.
I know and have known for a while that I just need to focus on myself but things just happen and when you get caught up in that moment, it seems as though all those rational thoughts disappear. I am going to put those walls back up and cut out the middle man for a while (emotions). If I just focus on me and my work personally and professionally then I believe that I can get anything done. I am so grateful that I have my coworkers in my life as well as good friends who can try to help me through my emotional rough time.
I think that before you decide to jump into dating someone you really need to think things through. Your not over your ex, then clearly this is not the right time for this you are not ready. Who cares if you have a job, I know its important but that's why you have that other someone to help support u through the hard times and even if they are going through rough times as well its still a shoulder to lean on. Nothing should ever be done out of pity. You should want to be with someone because you have a good time around them, they care about you, they just want to do anything to make you happy, and they can be supportive no matter whats going on. Also one should not have to hear that you no longer want to see someone through a third party. That just not right and completely disrespectful. People always try to be friends after ending that certain relationship and in my experience it hardly ever works out. Its embarrassing to be around mutual friends and its such an uncomfortable situation. How does one act? how does one not make it awkward? how can anything be the way it was before. It can't. All one can do is try to put those emotions in a box and sort through them later.
Anyway so enough about the back, I think I've ranted and cried about that subject enough. Oh boy is it starting to get hot outside. The other morning I woke up about 9 AM and I was full on baking in my own car. I couldn't believe it was 85 degrees outside. My goodness. Its a good thing I have been drinking lots of water and always keep a good amount of water in the car. I'm not sure if I preferred the cold evenings or the disgustingly warm mornings. Just got to deal with everything one moment, one hour, one day at a time. Well I gotta get ready for work for my second shift today. Until next time folks. Please feel free to leave your comments on this blog. I would really appreciate the feedback for anything I have posted.
