Well last night was a rough one. Had a phenomenal time with some friends at karaoke, it was nice to have fun and get my mind off of things for a bit. Unfortunately for me I couldn't keep my mind off of things while going out.
Trying to figure things out is becoming harder and harder. My phone service is turned off so I have very limited means of communication unless I can go somewhere where there is WiFi. I definitely make it work for me but it certainly complicates things. I want to stay as positive as I can and I give myself things to look forward to but sometimes that's just not enough. Trying to figure out what my resources are to get myself out of this situation is something else. Alot of these places want a phone number to contact me at, or an address to put on the paperwork. Kinda hard when I have neither.
If I can't get things together out here. I have a few friend back in Michigan that said they could help me out. And don't get me wrong I would love to see everyone again, but I really needed this fresh start for a reason. And I have been introduced to so many amazing people with great hearts and beautiful souls, it would just break my heart to have to leave all that. In my almost 22 years of living I have finally found people that accept me for who I am. I have never felt more comfortable and accepted in my life. And I would just truly hate to lose that. To be told that this group of friends keeps outsiders on a back burner and they welcomed me with open arms made me feel like one of them is crazy to me. I have only known these people for a couple weeks and I feel like I've known them for years. What a concept.
Being an ex-military child, I know how to move and make friends very easily. But it's a whole different situation when you realize that this is more of a long term feeling not a short term feeling. And it's breaking my heart to know that I may have to go back to Michigan and leave all the wonderful people. Another thing is that I absolutely love my job. I couldn't ask for a better manager, coworkers, or customers. This place is so heartwarming. To be able to watch people come in looking sad or angry and watching them leave with a smile on their face is a great feeling.
There are so many feelings and thoughts constantly running through my mind. I wish I could just crawl in my own mind and grasp said thoughts and feelings and put them in boxes and organize them. Its all so chaotic and overwhelming. Thank goodness I'm starting to get back into my writing because if I didn't have that, I would be a mess. well until next time.
No comments:
Post a Comment